Friday, September 11, 2009


Friday, September 11, 2009

Today was the first day I just sat down and cried. My interview this morning went well. I actually have another interview on Tuesday that is supposed to last all day where they scrutinize me and I can ask questions while I shadow someone to see what they do. What they do I’m not exactly sure. Something to do with marketing. They are an international company with clients like Disney who they do anything for from publicity to events planning and what not. That sounded fun, and then he said they are starting up in Europe training people to train other people. Now it sounded more like a gimmick. I’m not really sure what to think of the company. He didn’t seem too concerned I could only stay till December. I suppose he thinks even if I can’t stay in Ireland I could work at another of their branches. Somehow I don’t think it actually is a company I would want to work for more than three months. I just need a paycheck right now.

I came back from my interview and found the apartment empty. I heated up a leftover burger on the stove since the microwave doesn’t work. I ate that then sat down on the couch and cried. I just felt like it. It’s not just Ireland that is making me unhappy. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life right now. Was this a good decision? I thought it would give me some time to figure things out and I could be in Europe in the meantime. Turns out I picked the wrong country it seems to be happy with and I just miss everything about home. I don’t even know if these feelings will pass and I can get on with whatever here for the time I’m supposed to, or if I’m just going to buy a ticket tomorrow and go home. There is nothing stopping me from going home. But I feel like as soon as I was on the plane I’d regret it.

Zach walked in and I was piddling around on my computer with wet raccoon eyes. He asked how my interview was, so I said these (tears) are real, not from any onions, but the interview was fine. I just felt like a good cry mainly because I don’t know if this is what I need to be doing. We decided that it’s just 4 months out of a whole lifetime that will be a good thing to look back on.

I was piddling around on my computer and I decided to see if wireless was an option. I was typing in potential passwords for the youth cafĂ©. Zach threw some out and we got it on the 3rd try. Turns out The Gaff’s password is “Catholic”. Now tell me that there isn’t some religious divide in this country. However, it never connected. Evidentially they didn’t lie. Maybe they had wireless at one point and now they don’t. Maybe I should offer to buy them a wireless router.

Wireless baffles me. UNC-1 has a full signal. I’m pretty sure I can’t reach UNC’s wireless network from Ireland.

Religion is often used as a masking for political purpose. I believe in spirituality over religion. I think we need organized religion for many reasons, but when it comes down to it, my investment is in the spiritual side of it not the political side of it. I’m not talking about rain dancing or spirit guides, I’m talking about faith and spiritual connection you have with God – the relationship. Religion is the body that seems to govern spirituality, a place for spirituality to congregate. In order for religion to be organized it has to operate under a governing body whose decisions are made by the minds of men hopefully under the influence of God. That’s why when it comes down to it, I put my investment not in the ideas of religion and divisions of religious bodies, but in God himself and my relationship with Him. I don’t disagree with religion and what it can do, but I don’t advocate some of what it does.

What I’m missing:
The Fair (state and Cleveland)
Football and tailgating

But all those things have lost their vigor over the years. Partly because it’s an annual thing and partly because you don’t quite appreciate the value of something till it’s gone. That said, I’m going to suck it up and find excitement in new things for this season and come back ready to enjoy those things I missed all the more next year.

Today is also 9-11 and I have no idea what is going on in America. I feel very cut off. I barely know what is going on in Ireland. I don't have contacts much and I don't get the paper (that costs money). I have no internet connection for browsing news sites. I'm just here. So let me know what's happening from time to time. Shoot me an e-mail. It would be much appreciated.

The day got better. I went to the grocery store. That always makes me feel better. I sound like a fat kid... I'll try to avoid that. I got bagels, more ice cream, cheerios, ground beef and milk. I also turned in a CV at the movie theater, but they weren't hiring as of now.

I walked back and started cooking dinner. The girls had just finished making their toast and beans (traditional English breakfast). So I started on the chicken parmesan. It was prebreaded, so I thought it was precooked, but evidently not.....I was cutting up the chicken and noticed it was still raw, not pink, but raw on the inside. Oops. I stopped Zach from eating any more. Thankfully we’d only eaten the thinner cooked end, but I popped ‘em back in the oven for some more cooking. It was actually a really good simple meal once it was cooked. It does combine my favorite things: chicken, pasta, cheese and tomato sauce.

I talked to my parents, and they helped me feel better and gave a mantra to live in the moment right now. Embrace the experience, which is what I had decided to do. However, it isn’t always the easiest thing to do when your days are consumed with not much. Galway is pretty, but there isn’t anything else to see around here. I need to venture further south on day trips or something. I also need to make some friends. It’s harder to do that not being in a hostel now. I also found out tonight that it’s official, Ryan is coming to visit me! Wheee!

When Erynn and Kathleen came back from apartment hunting they announced they had found a one bedroom with two twins in a 4 bedroom place about a 10 min walk from us near the library. Guess we don’t get help with our rent after all. Oh well, at least that’s two more people in Galway to know. They managed to get internet!!!!!, so I will have to appear over there frequently, but not over stay my welcome.

We all went to Monroe’s Tavern to hear a band that is part of the Americana festival going on this weekend. Sunday is the big day. There are mostly just bluegrass concerts and “American style” bands playing, but on Sunday there is also a barn party. I’m not sure what a barn party means to the Irish, but I intend to find out!

One thing I don’t really get around here is how dressed up the females get. Every one of them looks like a popsicle freezing to death in a dress you’d see at a Miami club with platform heels of all colors and sparkles. I’m pretty sure they have no idea that it is 50 degrees outside. It would appear as if it were in the 80-90 degree range if you judged on attire. Back to the heels – not a single female is without heels (unless it is me in my Sperrys and Kathleen and Erynn in flip flops). You can tell we haven’t quite adjusted yet and I don’t know if we will. First off I’d need to buy the shoes, and yes I’m about to say this, but I think it would be a waste to buy another pair of shoes because I wouldn’t be able to get them home easily and I have plenty of heels – that said, I’m going shopping tomorrow – just kidding. Second, I couldn’t wear them all around the cobblestone streets. I’d be crazy to try it. I think they are able to wear such little clothing here because the climate stays the same mostly, so they are adjusted I guess. Just a theory.

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